Do You Know What You're Looking For?
Advertising is a billion dollar industry and I think they know something that most people don't.
Most people think that advertising is about selling "things" or "services." But what they really sell are feelings. Or rather, the expectation of feelings. (And sometimes, the hope for avoidance of particular feelings, like guilt, shame, embarassment or fear.)
Buy this product and you are smart, safe, cool, individual, etc. They've tapped into what really motivates people. Feelings. For example, our goals are not usually about the particular thing itself, whether it's an achievement, a possession, a certain financial mark, a promotion or whatever; it's really about what we think we're going to feel as a result of having this or that or doing x or y. Successful, secure, happy, loved, good look'in and admired: you name it, the feelings people are after are as unique as they are ---and the means they use to get them are often mistaken for the ends. And sometimes they are sold a bill of goods, from the company or their culture.
Now this is good for the economy, because even if that Dr. Pepper makes you feel all unique, just like the other million people chugging it, the feeling fades, or doesn't live up to the expectation and we're off pursuing the next thing that we just know is going to make us happy or cool. And maybe that relationship, or those children, or that house in the burbs and professional job doesn't automatically confer the happy, adjusted, secure and satisfying life the model implies. But maybe a new SUV, diet, exotic vacation or country villa will?
I've noticed very few seem to think about the flip side of this. Which is, "hmm, so what I'm really after is a feeling of "x", what can I do to generate this feeling in myself?" What other ways than "y" might there be to do this? Thinking from the feeling to the many ways it can be achieved which are usually highly personal and unique rather than attributes of some commodity or economic "quality" of life, is not that common it appears.
Sometimes I think we get so locked into our "strategies" in life that we don't pull back an look at what these strategies are designed to accomplish. If we dig a little, we can usually come up with what we are really after by asking ourselves a couple of key questions.
1. What do I really want by doing/having/achieving x? (the answer to this is not the final answer though that's where many stop with their self-reflection.)
2. Why is that important? (to the answer to #1)
and one more...
3. Why is that important? (to the answer to #2)
One or more of these "why is that important?" often leads us to our core motivations. And from the top of this mountain we can see a lot other paths to get there rather than the view from the single path we may have been locked on. And we may discover the path we're on may not even assure that we get there.
Now, when I write this stuff it's often just to help me explore a thought. I may not even believe half of it, and the parts I do, I certain don't own in any way that disagreement wouldn't threaten my existence (so feel free to disagree, athough I might explore it more by taking an opposing stance, heheh.) But I do find it curious to think that our "reason" may just be a tool for achieving something our feelings set out for us. And I often feel like exploring :-)
Most people think that advertising is about selling "things" or "services." But what they really sell are feelings. Or rather, the expectation of feelings. (And sometimes, the hope for avoidance of particular feelings, like guilt, shame, embarassment or fear.)
Buy this product and you are smart, safe, cool, individual, etc. They've tapped into what really motivates people. Feelings. For example, our goals are not usually about the particular thing itself, whether it's an achievement, a possession, a certain financial mark, a promotion or whatever; it's really about what we think we're going to feel as a result of having this or that or doing x or y. Successful, secure, happy, loved, good look'in and admired: you name it, the feelings people are after are as unique as they are ---and the means they use to get them are often mistaken for the ends. And sometimes they are sold a bill of goods, from the company or their culture.
Now this is good for the economy, because even if that Dr. Pepper makes you feel all unique, just like the other million people chugging it, the feeling fades, or doesn't live up to the expectation and we're off pursuing the next thing that we just know is going to make us happy or cool. And maybe that relationship, or those children, or that house in the burbs and professional job doesn't automatically confer the happy, adjusted, secure and satisfying life the model implies. But maybe a new SUV, diet, exotic vacation or country villa will?
I've noticed very few seem to think about the flip side of this. Which is, "hmm, so what I'm really after is a feeling of "x", what can I do to generate this feeling in myself?" What other ways than "y" might there be to do this? Thinking from the feeling to the many ways it can be achieved which are usually highly personal and unique rather than attributes of some commodity or economic "quality" of life, is not that common it appears.
Sometimes I think we get so locked into our "strategies" in life that we don't pull back an look at what these strategies are designed to accomplish. If we dig a little, we can usually come up with what we are really after by asking ourselves a couple of key questions.
1. What do I really want by doing/having/achieving x? (the answer to this is not the final answer though that's where many stop with their self-reflection.)
2. Why is that important? (to the answer to #1)
and one more...
3. Why is that important? (to the answer to #2)
One or more of these "why is that important?" often leads us to our core motivations. And from the top of this mountain we can see a lot other paths to get there rather than the view from the single path we may have been locked on. And we may discover the path we're on may not even assure that we get there.
Now, when I write this stuff it's often just to help me explore a thought. I may not even believe half of it, and the parts I do, I certain don't own in any way that disagreement wouldn't threaten my existence (so feel free to disagree, athough I might explore it more by taking an opposing stance, heheh.) But I do find it curious to think that our "reason" may just be a tool for achieving something our feelings set out for us. And I often feel like exploring :-)
So is Want different than a feeling? And is Need sometimes opposed to feeling, yet submerged in it? If its a feeling a person Wants....what about when its a Want a person feels? there ought to be some lists. LOL
ReplyDeleteYeah, let's explore. Feel free to come up with your own paths, as if anyone with our blood needed such permission, in fact, don't think you could stop 'em.
ReplyDeleteWhat you want is often because of something either you think you need, or actually need. And this need is usually a feeling. Or a desire for a certain feeling. Like feeling full when you are hungry, perhaps.
When what we want is not what we need, it's usually because we don't know about the other paths up the mountain. And the path we've chosen doesn't get us there.
Not so uncommon, I think. Because people don't see the mountain or the peak they are really after.
They may not even know the peak is there, and settle for a plateau. But their needs will keep reminding them that this is not where they really want to go.
(And "a want a person feels" is usually for something they want to feel, that they think will give them a certain feeling. Thus the "what is important about that?" repetition, to tease this out.)
Thanks for your comments ger beans.
So how does polygamy vs. monogamy square in all this? LOL...
ReplyDeleteHmmm, I think you may be interpreting this as "do whatever you feel" ---whereas what it really means is: know why you are doing things and you'll have more options. It plays with whatever value system you think is important.
ReplyDeleteSo, say a polygamist asks himself what is it about multiple partners that is important? He may think, we'll I like the variety. An why is this important? Because I don't want to be bored. Now he might decide he may have other options for resolving boredom that may work better than the extra hassles with multiple partners.
It's not making any judgements, it's just exploring what may be really behind the stuff we think we want, to see if there may be other and even better ways to get it. Ways we may not have thought of because we never climbed that high up the mountain of our motivations.
Where this really bites people is when they work their whole lifes toward something they think they are going to get and it never happens. Then they look back and see how they could have got what they really wanted ub so many other ways if they just pulled their noses off that grindstone and looked around :-)
Good blog my friend. Yeah, thats the only thing that made me question Solomon's wisdom..LOL...
ReplyDeleteOne little twist, sometimes what really bites people is when they work their whole lifes toward something and they get what they were working towards.
"gotta be careful where you aim that thing son" as old grandpa wolfhunter was prone to say.
Indeed, and that's exactly what this was for... if they get there and it's not what they thought it would be... they don't feel like they thought they would...is this all there is? Is *this* what I really wanted?
ReplyDeleteAnd now, because they probably never asked themselves that question in the beginning, they don't even know where to go from there, cause *this* was the thing that was supposed to give that to them.
Or, as the Talking Heads put it in Once in a Lifetime:
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.