anamnesis

Today I was thinking about that title. Meditation has shown me a certain default. Which I use to think was me. Or, at least, was the situation at hand. Turns out it was neither. Any moment, THIS moment, for example, is carrying a certain momentum of mood, of ideas stirred, ripples of stones dropped earlier in the day, undulating as a wave, unfolding as a line, not destined to veer from the course set by all those causal arrows. All the beliefs we've built, all the experiences and memories we've stored ...what else could happen, how else could we be feeling and experiencing this moment other than the last domino in that cascade? Our day may start like a ball at the top of the pinball machine. A little bit chance, a little bit how we got out of bed but mostly it all filters through the same bumpers and lanes. As the ball drops, and the world rotates, the same familiar collisions in our brain light up and ring, bounce back and forth down narrow chutes, we score points we lo