Miswanting

Think about the consequences! This seems to be a constant theme that's drilled into most of us through-out our lives; it's the basis of much of the advice we receive from parents, teachers and society growing up. But its always made me suspicious; more so as I get older.

It's easy to assume that as we experience more, learn important lessons through trial and error about how things "work" in life, that we will become wiser, see further ahead and basically figure things out that we can pass on to those just hitting the learning curve. We could save them time and energy, help them avoid pitfalls and pain, give them pithy aphorisms and deep insights on how to play the game; but, honestly, it doesn't seem to work that way.

Planning our future implies that we know who we'll be in the future. What we'll like, based on what we like now, how we imagine we'll react. So reading this article this morning, highlighted some interesting things I've observed on why this is not the case. Guiding our decisions by perceived consequences, also assumes the past is a reliable indicator of the future. But how effective is it to drive while looking in the rear-view mirror? The future doesn't unfold the way its always happened in the past (otherwise we'd all strike it rich investing in stocks.)

So what would be a useful approach, if this scenario were true for us? I don't know. But the advice I've tried to impart to my kiddos hitting this curve falls more along the lines of: if you don't have a particular plan at the moment, focus on developing resources that increase your options. Find out what makes you happy; it may not be as easy as you think, but it's worth the effort. If you're not happy, try something else. Don't be afraid of mistakes. People who make lots of mistakes, and learn from them, seem to be wiser (and tell better jokes) than those who obsess with perfection and always getting things "right" up front. Most of our most significant innovations come from mistakes of one kind or another. And finally, for every generalization, even this one, there are contexts where it will misinform. Assuming peanut butter is always peanut butter makes a mousetrap a rude awakening for our furry friends.

But perhaps I'm slipping back in consequence mode here. For some mice, a mousetrap is just a free lunch, as GEM may attest. Guess the bottom line is, knowing yourself is more important than anything you'll learn about the external world. And maybe it's *all* we'll learn about the external world :-)