You Live in a Different World
Someone said that to me today, in a good way. I've been told pretty much the same in not such good ways. Either way it's kind of amusing. A few days earlier, I was talking to an old chinese couple that we've known for some time. They're a funny pair. Rich, but they live frugal, asking my opinion on digital TVs. They had a 13" they use to watch the news and were thinking they would have to upgrade if they go to cable. In the course of a casual conversation I was reminded once again of how many different wavelengths people live in. I told them I don't watch much TV, generally just movies, and I don't watch the news because it's the same stuff over and over. Which they heartily concurred, agreeing that probably watching it just in the morning is sufficient. Bright-eyes just smiled at me askew, she knew I was talking about *ever*.
It comes up in lots of contexts, one of the more interesting places I've noted, either because the circle of people in my immediate acquaintance, or the general area I live in, is people looking for reasons and answers for experiences they'd like to pigeon-hole and be done with.
Somehow, perhaps it's the nature of socialization and requirements for living in groups without whopping people upside of the head, but we seem to be trained to look for external validation for our experiences. For what our feelings mean, what our behavior means, what other people's feelings and behavior mean about us and themselves, yada yada yada.
This just seems out of whack on so many different levels. Sure, I put on my "self" like clothing, to interact with the external world and keep the neighbors from setting my house on fire, and it's useful in that respect, if you're going to live among others; but what use does any of that have in defining who you are? What a twisted sense of identity would be formed by living your private thoughts and feelings through other people's eyes?
Which is why a question someone asked me once left me speechless. They were excited about their newly discovered mission in life, which is great, I love to see people enthusiastic about life, whatever venue that takes, even if it's something I'd never consider. They had discovered a tool which helped clarify this for them, which is great too, I like to play with new tools, especially those that help see new things. Or old things in new ways. Their tool, as popularized by a well-known guru of life coaching, was to ask themselves "what would I want people to think about me when I'm dead."
Say what?! Now I suppose the intent was laudable: propose a scenario that helps to identify things that are truly significant in your life. Judging by the popularity of the author, and the enthusiasm the guy asking, I suppose it has helped people latch onto something important. But the premise is totally screwy. No disrespect intended, but I couldn't care less what people thought of me after I was dead. What kind of life would that be to live through other people's eyes?! I think a better question might be, what's hidden away between the seconds of our lives? But what do I know, I live in a different world ;-)
It comes up in lots of contexts, one of the more interesting places I've noted, either because the circle of people in my immediate acquaintance, or the general area I live in, is people looking for reasons and answers for experiences they'd like to pigeon-hole and be done with.
Somehow, perhaps it's the nature of socialization and requirements for living in groups without whopping people upside of the head, but we seem to be trained to look for external validation for our experiences. For what our feelings mean, what our behavior means, what other people's feelings and behavior mean about us and themselves, yada yada yada.
This just seems out of whack on so many different levels. Sure, I put on my "self" like clothing, to interact with the external world and keep the neighbors from setting my house on fire, and it's useful in that respect, if you're going to live among others; but what use does any of that have in defining who you are? What a twisted sense of identity would be formed by living your private thoughts and feelings through other people's eyes?
Which is why a question someone asked me once left me speechless. They were excited about their newly discovered mission in life, which is great, I love to see people enthusiastic about life, whatever venue that takes, even if it's something I'd never consider. They had discovered a tool which helped clarify this for them, which is great too, I like to play with new tools, especially those that help see new things. Or old things in new ways. Their tool, as popularized by a well-known guru of life coaching, was to ask themselves "what would I want people to think about me when I'm dead."
Say what?! Now I suppose the intent was laudable: propose a scenario that helps to identify things that are truly significant in your life. Judging by the popularity of the author, and the enthusiasm the guy asking, I suppose it has helped people latch onto something important. But the premise is totally screwy. No disrespect intended, but I couldn't care less what people thought of me after I was dead. What kind of life would that be to live through other people's eyes?! I think a better question might be, what's hidden away between the seconds of our lives? But what do I know, I live in a different world ;-)
Just give them Versed and they either won't care or not be able to remember!!!!
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